


> Continue?

by akgerhardt



Series: SFW [24]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: (more tags tba with future chapters), /Warning for nongraphic suicide attempt, Communication and Relationship Mending, Doomed Timeline Ghosts, Jake hijacks Chapter 1 just to berate himself in the third-person, Pre-Retcon/Post-[S] Game Over, healing and comfort
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-10-24
Updated: 2019-10-29
Packaged: 2021-01-02 01:17:03
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,760
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21153188
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/akgerhardt/pseuds/akgerhardt
Summary: "Is it possible to make things right after it's all gone to shit? Is it even worth trying?""Depends.""On what?""... How much you care, I guess. And you can't force 'em to give you another chance.""There's a likelihood of it going absolutely apple-esque again.""Yeah, the probability of that is pretty damn high. Not to mention, the stakes pile doesn't stop from getting taller....I should be a relationship counselor."





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> (This is still unedited.)

When they awoke and came to their senses, he ran. Maybe Jane was stunned into silence, or maybe she had nothing left to say to him. She made no attempt to follow him, just watched him fly away. That didn't come as a surprise, considering he'd become eye candy. He fled farther than he thought possible and only stopped once he realized that he was alone in the middle of nowhere.

The bubble shifted to the Derse cell, now empty sans him. He allowed himself to curl into a pathetic, sniveling ball, shaking like the coward he was. Those yellow panties were fitting, he mused. His racing thoughts finally caught up with him post-adrenaline, but he had no will to keep fighting the overwhelming panic and despair.

He failed everyone, including himself. It was his own damn fault for enabling his shortcomings. He hurt his friends and was a useless burden at best. He thought he'd given it his all in that one shining moment, jumping in front of her like heroes do in movies, or a loser as a final act of redemption. It seemed like even sacrifice was above him, and he sure as hell was never up to par with the lowliest of protagonists. He didn't protect her, so it accomplished jackshit. At least he was barred from the land of the living so he didn't have to worry about screwing up anything there again.

The concept of an afterlife had always struck him as foreboding, and now here he was, faced with eternity. There was nothing to be afraid of, right? Maybe the nothingness itself was what his simpleton mind feared. He… didn't particularly want to be alone anymore, but he didn't want to subject anyone to his presence, either. There was a shred of him that still acted in self-preservation, too- no one could touch him if he wasn't in their vicinity. As time passed, however, he realized that he might lose his last marbles if he didn't come in contact with _ someone. _

_ "You rang?"_

He startled, scrambling backwards and looking up. It wasn't like he didn't recognize the voice; he was just on edge.

Brain Ghost Dirk raised a brow, as if it was possible for him to be more disappointed.

_ "Dude, you’re a fuckin' disaster. Couldn't even handle the faith that a gropey broad unlocked _ for_ you long enough to let me fix shit? Maybe if you hadn't-" _

"I _ know," _he muttered, looking aside. The specter softened his stance, uncrossing his arms but still looking down at him.

_ "... Hey, at least you tried. Subjectively speaking." _

Jake fell silent, and he heaved a sigh.

_ "I'll do it. You don’t have to further disgrace yourself by asking." _

Realization dawned upon him. He had a chance to escape. There was _ hope, _ however undeserved it may have been.

"Please," he begged, looking up with desperation.

He nodded curtly and warned him that it would hurt. Jake didn't care at this point, and they both knew that. The pink lightning sparked from his palms, seizing Jake as it began to shred his very essence. Jake screamed in pain and terror despite himself, which wasn't a surprise. He faltered briefly at the sound but didn't relinquish his hold.

He continued to tear Jake apart at the seams, but the raw emotion he was drawing out made for a perfect storm. A man in limbo, consciousness dissipated, was pieced back together in the vessel of his imprint. Dirk had no fucking clue what was happening, but he managed to stop, recoiling from Jake. Jake collapsed in a heap on the ground, too weak to sob. Dirk stood in stunned astonishment for a moment, examining his own hands with a slight tremor. Was… that how his powers worked? He shook off the uneasiness in favor of approaching Jake hesitantly. Dirk was probably the last person he wanted to see, and yet…

"W- Why'd you stop?"

…

"Jake-"

"Please, just get it over with! For both of our sakes."

"I'm. I... Are you hurt?"

He shook his head, finally meeting Dirk's uncertain, somewhat terrified gaze. Not that he could perceive such subtleties behind his normally stoic mask, but… Shit, Dirk was fucked up and even he could tell. 

The scenery shifted to a still-intact LOMAX, and their outfits to the corresponding ones. There was a span of uncomfortable silence, as neither knew what could be said that wouldn't upset the other. Finally, Jake broke it just to confirm he wasn't imagining things.

"... Dirk? Is- Is that you?"

Dirk, of course, had no idea what that meant, having never been acquainted with his imaginary counterpart. He swallowed hard, nodding. Maybe the dude was delirious from the zapping.

"Oh christ, I'm so sorry for doing this to you, for- for _ everything, _to be frank. I… You-"

"I'm so fucking sorry, I don't know how I- I'm sorry; can I help you up?"

Jake was beyond mortified that he somehow roped The Real Dirk into this, the deeply-hurt-by-his-asshattery Dirk who never should've been subjected to him again, let alone put in this position.

He shook his head again, pulling his knees to his chest as he avoided eye-contact in guilt.

"I'm fine, honest. It was my fault."

"What? No, it's pretty damn obvious that I'm the one at fault."

Neither was sure whether they were referring to the event that just transpired or previous ones. They were both still determined to take the blame, though.

"... You don’t have to stay. I quite literally summoned a fictional projection of you with the sole purpose of ending my disastrous existence; I was hoping I could disappear without anyone noticing or caring but somehow he's become you and it was an asinine move of me I know; I'm sorry for being so selfish and continuing to hurt you beyond plausible explanation… Please, go see the others. I'll just… stay put and hopefully avoid inflicting more damage. My apologies mean jackshit but I don't want to keep doing this to you!"

...

"Is it ok if I chill here for a few? Would I be crowding you? Fuck, wait, you'll probably let me regardless because I set you up for that. Sorry. I… If you're comfortable with me hanging around for the time being, I'd like to. Just to sort shit out, at least."

Jake nodded sheepishly, and Dirk sat on the rock adjacent to him, leaving a generous amount of space between them and looking off into the distance. Jake didn't get up off the grass, and Dirk didn't suggest it, because his seating preference was none of his business. The planet was quiet sans a light breeze, now void of its undead lifeforms. They'd never actually shared such an experience before; there was always danger to keep them occupied in their adventures. Even when apart and safe from the underlings, Jake had the crackle of his campfire and Dirk had the thunder of his eternal storms as background noise. Now, for the first time, it was just them. There was no static interference to distance them from each other or their own thoughts, however much they may have wished for it.

"... As you likely know, I'm beyond screwed up and always have been. I'm an ass-backwards, unstable, neurotic bastard and _ I _ hurt _ you. _I'm toxic, whether you want to keep excusing me and believing otherwise or not. I pressured you into dating me and hounded the hell out of you until you had to hide for your own wellbeing. I had my head up my ass and was stewing in angst because I'm just that full of myself, but now I think I finally get it. Jake, it wasn't your fault that you couldn't handle my issues. It’s my job, not yours, and I should have been on top of that shit. And I had no business obsessing over you or trying to micromanage your life. I can't control you, and you don't need a nanny. For fuck's sake, you handled shit just fine on Hellmurder Island before I came along and sent my metal replica to be everything but a sparring buddy. If anyone should be fucking off, it's me."

"Hell's bells and all it's whistles, _ I'm _ the one who plum avoided dealing with everything instead of manning up and just communicating! It's always been that way though, hasn't it? The Jake Show where I'm center stage and you have to fan my ego but you can't actually _ expect _ anything good from me- not as a partner, friend, or even just a person. No, you have to play along with my make-believe and you can't hold me to any standards.

…

I let all of you down. I broke your heart, I took Roxy’s kindness for granted, I was a complete bozo to Jane… To be frank, the only decent things I may have done can be attributed to others' guidance. I'm nothing like the brave, dashing adventurer I once claimed to be. When push came to shove, I fell short and failed in every possible way. I never deserved your company, and that's for certain."

"That's… That's not true."

"Tell it to Sweeney," he sighed. "I was a gihungous dickweed."

"... This is downright pathetic of me, but- fuck. Would you feel worse if I hugged you? Please be honest, or just say nothing and I'll take it as a no."

"No, I. Of course not, but it's not right for you to comfort me after what I did."

"It's mutual… I mean, mutual comfort and debatably mutual mistakes."

…

Jake nodded again, looking just about as caught up in self-loathing as Dirk was at the present. Dirk moved to the grass next to him, and Jake clung to him, burying his face in his chest and trying to be subtle about crying. It felt like coming home, like his Grandma's lullabies when the monsters were too loud or the old rocking chair where she used to read him bedtime stories. On bad nights after she passed, he'd wrap himself in his blanket and try to simulate the experience. It was one of his most embarrassing secrets, but when Dirk had accidentally witnessed a recurrence mid-panic he said nothing, attempting to leave before Jake noticed him. He was unsuccessful, so he just waited for Jake to calm down and be able to talk again. He sucked donkey balls at finding the right things to say in such moments, voice absent of any infliction of empathy. Jake was too damn ashamed and afraid that he'd think less of him now that the cat was out of the bag, though, so he gave up on negating his apologies and just offered a hug. He didn't expect Jake to readily accept, and the experience was foreign to him, but as Jake relaxed into him warmth kindled in the space that had always felt cold and empty, bringing him a sense of wholeness and peace. He almost wanted to shove it away and shut it out because it was so new, because he hadn't thought it was possible for him to feel that way, because it couldn't be safe or long-lived, let alone deserved. Those thoughts quickly dissipated, though, and he let himself feel it fully, staying awake long after Jake had fallen back to sleep.

They could count the number of times that had happened, and they'd never had any intimate contact besides it- nothing more than a tap on the shoulder as they hid from the giant skeletal beasts, a quick tug out of the way of danger or assistance climbing, a celebratory back pat, or a friendly tussle to sharpen their battle reflexes. They both found hugging to be the best part of their relationship and friendship and figured they'd be content with that as the extent of their physicality if it had happened more often.

Dirk was relieved that he was yet again spared the awkwardness of initiating it. He rested his chin atop Jake’s hair, wrapping his limbs around him tightly and pulling him closer. Several minutes passed before he could speak without a lump in his throat.

"I'm sorry. For everything."

"The sentiment's shared. I'm sorry, too."

…

"Wanna hear something _ really _pathetic? Right before we went god tier, I tried to get Jane to act as my middleman- middlewoman and tell Roxy that I love her. She was a goddamn meter away, and now I may never see her again, so she'll probably keep thinking I was pissed for some reason… That is, if she's even still out there. I don't think a more emotionally constipated idiot exists. All those years, and I never had the balls to be genuine with anyone except my mirrored monstrosity, and that was just out of self-hate. Honestly, what the fuck was I thinking when I made him? I mean, of course I thought I was hot shit, but it's a stellar example of my insane ideas put into action. Hell, I even-"

"Dirk, please," was his muffled interruption.

"Sorry; I'll stop."

"... You didn't know any better, and you're way too hard on yourself. You did your best, and you have to know what a screw up I am! I'm so- _ stupid _ and fake and cowardly and self-absorbed, and-"

"Imma have to stop you there, because that's a steaming hot pile of bs. You can't possibly hope to have me beat in any flaw. And you're none of those things, man; holy shit-"

"Gah, this is asinine... Could we please drop the matter for now?"

"Yeah… Maybe I should dig through NIMH resources from the archives and get us some decent help once and for all."

Jake pulled back slightly at that and looked up, managing a smirk.

"That might be beneficial."

The simple act of hugging it out was cathartic, as usual, dissolving most of their tension.

"... I missed this so much."

"God, yeah. You’re like my drug," he murmured, closing his eyes as the remainder of his composure finally broke. He failed, he failed. The mantra echoed still, but it faded while Jake was in his arms. As far-fetched as the notion that things could be alright sounded, it felt plausible in the present. Jake rubbed little circles on his back to soothe and ground him, which Dirk really fucking appreciated. He exhaled deeply, heartrate returning to normal as they both calmed the hell down from the shitfest of a day they had. It felt like it had lasted years, but hopefully the events would become nothing more than distant memories in time.

"... Didn't think I'd be able to see you again, but I figured it was for the better if you weren't subjected to my horseshit anymore. I just- I wish I could have done something. I have no fucking clue what went down, but seeing your land and my bro's smashed together was indication enough that it, uh, wasn't good."

"You could say that," he laughed half-heartedly.

…

"The weird thing is, I don't remember dying. I remember blowing off your ectoson in favor of giving up and dissipating into pseudo-nothingness, like an unsalvageable jpeg artifact. I guess I just dissociated in existential despair until I ended up here…"

Jake blinked confusedly but said nothing, hoping Dirk could keep the conversation headed away from what happened while he was gone.

"I also. Uh, sorry; I'm running my mouth again."

"No, you're fine. What is it?"

"... Did you say you brought me back to double-death you?"

Fuck. This was unavoidable, he realized.

"... In a sense. I constructed this imaginary-real version of you from my noggin, and he's been haunting me for a while now. I didn't know how to make anyone else see him and I didn't want you to think I was that far off my rocker so I kept it on the downlow, eheh… But yes, it was dumb and bad and I can't express my remorse for roping you into it; I didn't intend-"

"I'm glad you're still here, and that's all that really needs to be said about the matter right now, provided you won't… put yourself in a situation like that again."

"You have my word. I'm sorry-"

"There's nothing to forgive, dude. I just got finished telling you that I tried to destroy myself and left the survivors to fend for themselves. Maybe they'll have a better chance of figuring out how to fix things without my interference… On that note, did- have you seen Roxy or Jane since…?"

"Just the latter, and I hightailed it out of there like the wuss I am. I don't know if she's still under the witch's control, but… Maybe I should shoot her a message at least to attempt to damage control. That's a thing we can still do, right? Use our devices?"

"Think so. Seems like the one whole perk of this hellscape is limitless service."

He eased up enough for Jake to retrieve his phone, but they remained content as a tangle of limbs. Jake bit the bullet, pestering her over Dirk’s shoulder. Dirk had become the embodiment of support.

golgothasTerror [GT] began pestering gutsyGumshoe [GG] at ???? 

GT: I cannot apologize enough for all that ive done nor do justice to how rotten i feel but i wanted to at least try.  
GT: Im truly and contritely sorry. I forgot and then ruined your birthday!! I broke your heart! And i fear that ive soiled our friendship garden to an irreparable degree. Worst of all those things may just be the icing on the cake of many more blunders ive overlooked.  
GT: Youve no need to respond. I just figured i ought to finish up the damage ive caused with some good old fashioned meaningless remorse. 

GG: Jake!   
GG: Oh my God, I'm so sorry, Jake!!!   
GG: I should have spoken to you before, but I didn't want to further harass you considering what _I _put you through... Jake, I had no right to lay a finger on you or say the things that I did. I can’t begin to imagine how traumatized you are...   
GG: I don't expect forgiveness, but I don't want you to feel unsafe anymore. Please know that I will never permit myself to harm you again. 

GT: You… You dont sound the way you did when we talked last. 

GG: I shattered the tiara. Either she didn't have any use for me dead, or it's nullified here, but I didn't want to risk a recurrence.   
GG: For years Roxy warned me of the dangers of that horrid thing, but I didn't listen… 

GT: So youre you again? Welcome back!!   
GT: Jane i screwed the pooch something awful and toyed with your emotions carelessly. Your response was entirely justified i just didnt take it like a man. 

GG: JAKE! Don't you EVER believe that you deserve to be assaulted or abused, regardless of the circumstances.   
**GG: I'll admit, I was ticked off at your seemingly intentional ignorance before any of the subsequent events.   
GG: You used to make me feel special each birthday, and I thought that you stopped caring about anything but your relationship. I hadn't even heard from you in _weeks. _   
GG: And yes, I didn't want to sit around waiting for you to throw me a single platonic bone aside from sporadic Dirk woes, but I should have told you from the start that I had feelings for you and wasn't happy listening to you lament about your boyfriend. **

****

GT: Jane i was a regular doucheschnozzle. I think some part of me knew that you felt that way. I cant say for sure but still it was rather juvenile of me to treat you like that! Not to mention avoiding looking for any actual solutions or addressing the issues directly with him. Its like i just wanted to hear myself speak at your expense.   
GT: No one *wants* to be an afterthought and im sorry for my self centered obliviousness of dubious authenticity. Hell the fact that i dont even KNOW if i knew better about your romantic desires is a disgrace. I mightve even twisted your arm to get out of being accountable for that?? 

****

GG: No, no. That… That last bit is far more complex. I was responsible for communicating with you from the get-go, even if you put me on the spot for a definitive answer way back when.   
GG: I suppose I had this image of you that didn't quite match reality, but I didn't want to accept it. 

****

GT: Thats because ive toted a ridonkulously aggrandized persona with you all from the get go. Fooled myself even... 

****

GG: Well, regardless… Not everyone can pick up on the unspoken naturally. It's not your fault that you can't read my mind! I was far too passive and kept pretending everything was fine until I snapped. 

****

GT: Oh for chrissake please dont excuse me! I should have been more sensitive and i had no business dumping my complaints onto you in the first place. 

****

**GG: …**   
**GG: I suppose we were both at fault in different ways.**   
**GG: But Jake, I did lose my temper and say some untrue things in the heat of the moment, and nothing that happened after I alchemized that cursed juju was justified. **

****

**GT: If i understand correctly you werent even the one in control. There's no reason to blame yourself!**

****

**GG: Not entirely… I'm still wrapping my head around that, but it seemed to remove my inhibitions while twisting me towards my darkest desires. **   
**GG: Maybe there's a lesson to be learned about the corruption of power. **

****

**GT: Thats a bit of an extreme example dont you think? You had your freewill hijacked!**   
**GT: You arent the gal that hauled me to the derse cell. That wasnt your fault. It was the seawitchs!**

****

**GG: ... Truthfully, I don't know how much can be attributed to her influence.**   
**GG: I did horrible things regardless and I'm grateful that I couldn't get any further with my plans for you. **

****

**GT: Er well i forgive you if its any consolation.**

****

**GG: Jake, thank you for trying to save me.**

****

**GT: Oh bugger of course you caught onto that. Consarn your cleverness and deductive skills ms gumshoe!!!**

****

**GG: Hoohoo… **

****

**GT: There had to be a failproof way i overlooked. Im sorry. **

****

**GG: Phooey! Besides, it's the thought that counts. That was a gutsy move indeed. **

****

**GT: Heheh thanks.**   
**GT: Ah how would you feel about dirk and me moseying on down to your bubble? I scurried off like a mouse out the trap but if you'll have me back id like to reconvene. If this isnt a good time im in no hurry.**

****

**GG: Dirk and _I. _**

****

**GT: Yeah yeah. Yay or nay??**

****

**GG: I'd be delighted to see you both. Give a ring if you need directions, I suppose?**

****

**GT: Will do!**

****

**GG: Sounds swell then. Safe travels! **

****

**GT: Righto! See you soon! <3**

****

**GG: :B <3**

****


	2. Chapter 2

_ Heroic. _

The last thing she remembered was the panicked look in Jane's eyes. It was bittersweet, knowing that even under the batterwitch's influence she still cared about her. Still, her teammates could handle themselves and win without a void player. This dark horse had run her course, and now… she was alone.

Once she realized that she was dead, she just sorta floated her way to the furthest ring. She looked for Calliope, but by the time she found her, a living version of herself was placing the Ring of Life on her claw and bringing her back to the land of the living. She watched with a smile from the shadows as they vanished. Dear, sweet Callie got her happy ending, like she deserved. At least she could rest easy knowing that she was ok.

With nowhere else to be and no one in particular to find, she drifted through the bubbles. Most were empty, which struck her as odd until she spotted an unholy mass of ghosts attacking Lord English. She was too far away to be of any use, so she just watched again. They kept him preoccupied until a black hole manifested behind him, draining him of his power in spirals of lime green energy and beginning to draw him in. The spider troll then dropped a giant house juju that looked like the reverse of Sburb Alpha, and four very alive kids charged out of it, delivering the final blows to knock him in. Several trolls with white skin sealed the hole immediately after, and a neon winged kid and crimson fairy caught the ghosts who were too close to being drawn in before it was shut. The catastrophically beautiful cracks in spacetime stopped worsening, warranting cheers. There were thousands upon thousands of ghosts left, none of whom she could identify. They seemed to be hunkering down there for the time being to celebrate, so she decided to come back if she couldn't find anyone she knew elsewhere.

Jake was the first to appear, and out of fucking nowhere. He was immediately aware of his own death, as evident by his white eyes and copious bullet wounds.

"JAKE! Jaaaaake. Jakey boy!!!"

He glanced up in shock, then rushed forwards, managing to switch his outfit before embracing her. She reciprocated his bear hug with equal tenacity, and he sobbed as he clung to her.

"I never thought I'd see you again. Are you alright?!"

"Yeah, I'm holdin' up p well. Rent's free, no needs to fill, yadayadayada. What brings you here?"

"Ah- Hopefully a temporary fluke. I got my keister handed to me by some green goons."

"Well, you're gonna hand it right back to 'em because you're JAKE FREAKIN' ENGLISH! You listen to me, Jakearoo: you can do anything if you set your mind to it. You just gotta belieeeeeve!!! Put your miraculous ass into it and show 'em who's the real bad bitch."

He managed a laugh, thanking her as he dried his eyes on his sleeve. They didn't let go until he started glowing cyan.

"Ah, frigadelic. Looks like my ride's here…"

"Just do your best and never give up, mkay? If all else fails… AVENGE MEEE!"

He nodded with a nervous grin, and then he was gone.

Another span that seemed like eternity passed before she spotted Dirk, sitting alone on the roof of his old apartment. It was a peaceful scene, the sun slowly setting over the sea. She skipped across the waves gleefully, disrupting the ripples as she approached from behind. As she got closer, though, she slowed and remembered that she kinda ruined everything between them in trickster mode. He probably didn't want to see her again, and yet-

"Roxy… ?"

_ Busted. _

"Yyyep, the one an' only," she laughed sheepishly. He practically jumped off the building, landing in midair and pulling her into a hug. Holy shit, this couldn't be her Dirk. He never expressed emotions around her, not physically or verbally.

"Roxy, I. I'm proud of you. Uh, I mean, that would imply I'm in a superior position when I've contributed jackshit. I… I admire you so fucking much. You’ve always been a selfless and supportive leader, and I never deserved to even have you in my life, but- I…"

He choked up, seeming to have rehearsed this monologue that he was stumbling through.

"... You?" she smiled.

"I love you, Roxy. So fucking much. And I'm sorry that I never showed it, that I was too busy shoving my head further up my ass to give an ounce of appreciation or say a single goddamn thing to you in the end, but- I- I was never upset, and I'm sorry that I can't reciprocate shit outside of the platonic realm, that I wasn't there for you when…"

His voice trailed off, but the message was understood. She hugged him tighter.

"... I love you too, Di-Stri. It’s _ ok. _And don't act like chargin' at the batterbitch herself to protect me wasn't Big Dirk Energy, for fuck's sake… Now, you better just be takin' a snoozle, cuz imma throw hands at some SOB's if you went and fuckin' died."

"Yeah, I can't pretend that I didn't lose my head in the heat of the moment. It should be fine, though- Dave's got the situation under control... I feel bad for putting my life in his hands, but-"

"Didja finally get to bunp fists with the big man himself??"

"In a way. It was… good. Necessary."

She didn't pry further, just dragging out their once-in-a-lifetime embrace.

…

"Sorry for assailing you with… all of this. If you're uncomfortable-"

"No, fuck no. Ya girl is LIVIN'."

He relaxed at that. The situation was still alien but becoming more pleasant.

"... I don't know if I should tell you this, but there's another you who escaped a doomed timeline via weird retcon shit, and she showed up after we got Jane and her daughter back. I feel like you have the right to know that she's fighting in your stead, but regardless of what happens, every iteration of you has an equal place in my heart. I'm sorry I couldn't keep you safe; you deserved so, so much more, fuck, you deserve an entire universe for yourself, filled with all the shit that makes you happy and nothing that doesn't, the world you should have had all along. Roxy, you're so goddamn _ good, _and-"

She shushed him gently, easing him down his emotional rollercoaster.

"Everything's fine, honest. There's lotsa fun stuff to do here! For real, I think there's a moshpit down at the We Made The Bad Guy Go Bye-bye bubble. Imma head over there eventually... And I can straight up do reality-defying schticks. It’s the hentai gods' gift to us "losers," and methinks if we knew how sweet it is we never would've bothered tryna win the game," she grinned.

…

"I don't want-"

"Son of a fuck…"

They jolted, glancing around for the second Dirk. The voice was distant, and soon it became clear that he and a Jake were on the rooftop.

"I'm just. Kind of the last person I want to see. I mean, if it's his bubble, does he automatically know I'm here? I think every iteration of myself wants to kick my own ass, so it might be for the best if we-"

"Diiiiiiiiiirk!!!"

Before her Dirk could react, she tugged him up with her to meet the others. He was relieved that they weren't in their god tiers, at least. He didn't want to look at himself, but he didn't think he was entitled to look at Jake, so he just gawked at their entwined hands behind his shades. _Was there seriously an iteration of them that didn't go up in flames? _

"Ok, before it gets awkwarder, my Dirkadirk here's on a time limit. They’re most likely finna claim the reward after he stops bein' dead, so is there anything either of yous wanna say to him, or viceaversa? Any advice or shit?"

"Cherish them," was the other Dirk’s immediate response. He nodded, glancing his way briefly.

"We can work things out and both be better off for it," Jake offered.

…

"Ok, _ my _ super sage wisdom is this: friggin open up a lil and let us help you like you help us. Make the most of your life, because you deserve to!"

"Thank you. I'll… try my best to do right by you."

"Oh and also, we probs need intensive therapy."

The group agreed in unison.

"There's your message to pass on from the afterlife. Make sure everyone sees a shrink."

"Can't promise I'll drag 'em there considering I have fuckall authority to make their decisions, but I will put the idea in their heads."

"Works for me... I almost wish I had another ghost clone so we could antagonize each other for eternity."

"As enticing as that prospect sounds, I think the others might actually benefit from my cursed presence in the new universe. It’s assbackwards, I know… but I want to give myself a shot at improvement, being supportive and shit. I owe them so much more than that- Dave, especially. I'm sure you'll- I'll find more iterations of me- myself than you'll know what to do with. And I'll end up back here someday, one way or another."

"Fair enough."

…

"Aaand it looks like the Crocker train's pullin' into the station. Thank _ fuck." _

"Er, good luck and godspeed!"

"Thanks, uh, you too."

Roxy and Jake patted him on his shoulders as the cyan glow brightened. Dead Dirk offered a thumbs-up, which was reciprocated just as awkwardly. He then zapped away, leaving the three in silence until Roxy pulled them both into a hug.

"... We gotta lotta feelings jams to shit out."

"I propose that we do the shitting whilst making our merry way towards the missing member of our quartet."

"Sounds like a fuckin' plan… Just maybe skip ahead if I start blubbering like a goddamn pansy."

"You do realize who you're saying that to, but it's peaches if you want some privacy!"

"I'm just so freakin' happy that we're gonna all be together again- I mean, I guess it sucks that we're dead, but at least everything's ok!"

"More or less, I'd say. I do think we've a number of advantages in these circumstances."

She grinned, picking him up and spinning him effortlessly before leaning closer to place a smooch on his cheek. He panicked, shying away, so she stopped and set him back down.

"Fucknuggets, I'm sorry. Thought you liked all that lovey-dovey friendliness."

"Sorry, I- I think I still do, I just- Events precipitated that I'm having trouble separating from the present."

"Nothin' to apologize for… You can talk about it, if you're comfs. Or later. Whatever, whenever ya want.

On that note, D, I'm really sorry for throwin' myself at you all sugar-addled and pervy. Wasn't much different than all those times I got drunk off my ass and mad flirted even though I knew better an' used Hal for all that extra bs... I know it screwed over your self-esteems and made ya hells of uncomf-"

"No, _ I'm _ the one who should be sorry."

"Thank you," he blurted out, delayed. "I missed you something awful… Well, all of you. Dropping off the grid wasn't very considerate or beneficial to any of the involved parties."

"There's no point in ragging on yourself, dude. We all screwed up, I guess, though I'd argue that I was the worst. I'm the only one who actually _ caused _any damage."

"For frig's flippin' sake-"

"Ohhh sweet Frigglish, gimme strength," she muttered under her breath.


End file.
